Forever

Wow it's been a real while since I've posted something up on here - And I see everyone has been really busy publishing their thoughts and achievements, which is really quite lovely and refreshing to see :). I have been meaning to write something else but haven't really felt in the "zone".

I really do want to live by the idea of giving all or giving nothing. I've spent much of my life half or quarter assing things and I'm quite tired of feeling like a failure to myself all the time.

So what encouraged me to spark up and write a new post today?

Well this morning my little brother began his first day in secondary school. It has been a wonderful and emotional moment in our little family history. At first getting him out of bed and freshened up was met with much angst - but after a little while we all soon lit up as we helped him into his new school uniform and prepared his bag and lunch.

It is always really irritating to have people fussing over you when you are young, but in the eyes of an older sibling (I think, me personally anyway) or a parent/guardian it just comes naturally- as all you want is for that first day to be postively perfect. For that new fresh feeling to be absolutely complete and wholesome.

Myself and mum had lumps in our throats as we watched him set off into the school horizon- amongst a herd of other fresh faced futurers. And it was then that I reflected on my own school experiences, and I felt a rush of great pride and hopefulness for Omar.

I wanted him to fly.

We then went up to the library for tea/coffee and to listen to a couple of speeches from the Head and some other members of staff. It was very reassuring to hear some of the things they mentioned. Deptford Green really does sound like a wonderful place, and there certainly is a calm aura about the school.

On the way home, we decided that we would do everything possible to help Omar succeed- that we would encourage him, push him and aid him in all aspects of his new school life. Most importantly, we would teach him to believe in himself.

When you believe in yourself - absolutely anything is possible. You have to be your own cheerleader.

And it was then that I felt inspired to do the same for mum and most importantly - for myself. I actually feel quite lucky to be starting university over again, because I feel like I have been given a second chance to change myself and my life. I can fully embrace that which is coming - to seek and grab every opportunity that places itself before me. I have learnt so much respect and gratitude for this education - however flawed it may be, it is there for me to make my own. I WILL embrace it and use it well.

Nick Clegg was on the BBC news this morning - giving a speech about the free schools that are being set up and such. I don't have much of a concrete opinion/judgement on politics and politicians, because I don't know all the facts about things. Whether he is a bastard or not is irrelevant anyway - because you can find inspiration in the strangest of people and places. But basically he was talking about that brand new feeling we all get at the start of the term, how wonderful and refreshing this time of year really is. But he also mentioned how easily we allow this air of positivity to become murky and faded as time goes on.

Sort of like an empty promise to ourselves.

I know nothing ever really beats that first-day feeling, but we really need to start maintaining that optismism and courage. We need to stretch it out further and further. And we need to pull each other back up when we start to wilt. We need to wake up each day, breathe in that early morning air and let it refresh and cleanse our bodies and minds.

I think that is why I've always loved the early morning - the time before and during sunrise.

I love that sharp crispness of the air that hits my face when I thrust my head outside an open window.

I love the pastel, pale colours of the sky - like a blank sheet of paper, waiting to be filled with colour and vibrancy.

I love the cold empty roads and streets - waiting to be filled with with noiseand heat.

I love that near- silence - The first breath of the world.

I love hearing the birds chatter - "Life! Life! Life!".

The first tastes, sights, smells...

Each day you wake - remember the morning.
It is there.
Reminding you of that hopeful wholesomeness.
Of the promises you made to yourself.
Telling you to try again.
Wake up and feel reborn.

Every day is a mini life-cycle.
Emerge from the womb of night.



Yeah. I really love the morning. :)
 Aaaaaand, I think I shall leave it there.

*EDIT* As I am in a cheesy happy mood and listening to Scooter I shall post one of my favourite tracks:
"Level One" (a nice revelant title for the topic of "beginnings" - which is awesome XD).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=442xxnZh_TM